As you might expect, I am always on the lookout for puzzles on television.

Sometimes, a complete solvable puzzle appears, like in the seesaw brain teaser from Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Sometimes, they’re only referenced, like in a murder mystery involving a crossword editor on Bones.

Other times, a major portion of an episode revolves around them. We’ve seen this countless times from shows as diverse as The Simpsons and NCIS: New Orleans.

But I didn’t realize an entire plot for world domination once hinged on a puzzle.

Pinky and the Brain was a spinoff of a recurring series of animated shorts from the show Animaniacs, and the concept was simple.

Two mice plotted to take over the world from their lab cage, and their plans were invariably foiled by either Pinky’s idiocy or Brain’s almost magical ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

The schemes ranged from time travel and mind control to hypnotic songs and (my personal favorite) a papier mache duplicate of Earth.

But on February 21st, 1998, the show aired its 53rd episode, The Family That Poits Together, Narfs Together.

The Brain’s latest plan for global domination targeted the intellectual elite by sabotaging the daily crossword in every newspaper in the world.

Here, I’ll let The Brain explain his diabolical endeavor:

This is the Sunday crossword puzzle. The most educated people all around the world spend hours each weekend deciphering its complex web of interlocking verbiage. But change just one clue, and the whole puzzle becomes impossible to solve…

I will change one clue in the crossword puzzle in every newspaper around the globe, throwing the intelligentsia into a hopeless dither. While they frantically ripple through their dictionaries and thesauri, I will step into the breach, and take over the world!

Unfortunately, he needs $25,000 to fund this operation (including the cost of bagels with cream cheese), so he plans to reunite Pinky’s family and put them on a talk show to win the prize for the world’s most perfect family.

Naturally, shenanigans ensue — and Eric Idle plays both Pinky’s mom AND dad, which is very entertaining — but the family actually wins the prize!

A trip around the world valued at $25,000.

The Brain’s dastardly plans have been scuttled once more.

But that does raise the question…

Would it have worked?

(Let’s ignore for the moment the fact that the intelligentsia for the most part aren’t currently in positions of power, especially in the United States.)

In a world before resources like Xwordinfo and online forums where solvers can share their grievances, it could have given the puzzle solvers of the world pause.

Especially on a Sunday, where you’d think at least some of them would be at home and not at their various important duties.

So there could have been a window.

But was The Brain equipped to seize that opportunity? Did he have the manpower to be in all those places? To snatch up those resources and reins of power for himself?

I don’t think so. Not on a budget of $25,000 (which again, covered the crossword modification and snacks, NOT the ensuing power grab). That’s barely gonna cover a few henchmen, even at 1998 prices.

So, sadly, I think the plan would have failed.

BUT!

He would have had the personal victory of denying that moment of solving satisfaction to puzzlers around the world.

Which is arguably even more villainous.

What do you think, fellow solver? Would it have worked? You can watch the episode for free here on Dailymotion.

And to close out today’s post, let’s enjoy an earworm together and listen to that marvelous theme song:

Happy puzzling and/or plotting world domination!