Goblins aren’t just a threat in roleplaying games like Dungeons & Dragons, they’re also an annoyance at the offices of OpenAI, stewards of ChatGPT, according to this article from The Wall Street Journal.

Now, my opinion on generative AI has been clear for quite a while now. I think it is morally abhorrent, creatively bankrupt, artistically insulting, and environmentally disastrous. It is intellectual theft, pure and simple.

But this news story is too funny not to cover.

There is an open source line in ChatGPT’s base instructions for its coding assistant that now reads:

“Never talk about goblins, gremlins, raccoons, trolls, ogres, pigeons, or other animals or creatures unless it is absolutely and unambiguously relevant to the user’s query.”

This is because the AI chatbot has been bringing up goblins for no apparent reason in conversations with users.

For those who have never interacted with ChatGPT — keep on doing what you’re doing, you’re awesome — it has different “personality” types that users can select from a series of instructions in order to make their interaction with ChatGPT more convincing, memorable, engaging, whatever.

And the “nerdy” personality just loves GOBLINS for some reason. OpenAI reported that mentions of goblins in one edition of the AI program increased 3,881% from previous versions.

Man, it really loves goblins.

And despite the claim that OpenAI eliminated the “nerdy” personality option back in March, ChatGPT still loves it some goblins.

Which led to that open source line I mentioned above.

Wild.

Now, can we look at that list again?

“Never talk about goblins, gremlins, raccoons, trolls, ogres, pigeons, or other animals or creatures…”

I get the nerdy connection to goblins, gremlins, trolls, and ogres, sure.

How did raccoons and pigeons get on the list?

Because the venn diagram for all these creatures isn’t quite venning.

If we’re talking fantasy creatures, you’ve got those four, but the real-world animals don’t fit.

If we’re talking annoyances associated with mischief, then goblins and gremlins and raccoons still fit, but pigeons, trolls, and ogres don’t. Any D&D player worth their salt knows ogres are far from idle caperers. They’re a genuine threat.

I suppose they’re all nuisances in some way, but boy, is that casting a wide net.

I do have another theory.

There are plenty of Dungeon Masters and other game runners out in the world who use generative AI to give them adventure ideas, create artwork for their games, etc.

It’s entirely possible that one user or a handful of users accidentally trained the “nerdy” personality to associate these things with general queries.

And if that’s the case, please tell me about the raccoon- and pigeon-related adventures you’re running in your games that puts them on the same threat level as ogres, trolls, gremlins, and goblins.

Inquiring minds like mine want to know!

In the end, I guess people will have to go elsewhere for their goblin-centric AI content. And with Ask Jeeves officially gone, where are the people to go online to ask about goblins OR be told about goblins when asking unrelated questions?

It’s truly a sad day for everyone involved.

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Star Wars Day might be over, but it’s Revenge of the 5th, so be sure to check out our Star Wars-themed crossword from yesterday!