My PuzzCulture Resume!

After our one-year anniversary post, some of the readers have been asking about my puzzle credentials. How did I become a puzzler? What strange, meandering road led me to the hallowed halls of puzzlesmithery? Could aspiring puzzlers follow the same path to puzzlewonderful adventures?

There’s no single path to puzzlerhood. Sure, there are some fairly universal commonalities. Do you have a great vocabulary? Mad trivia skills? Are you a whiz with palindromes, anagrams, or other forms of wordplay? These can all help. Also, a background or degree in English doesn’t hurt.

But every puzzler I know took a different route. It’s not as if we all awoke one day to a knock at the door, only to discover a small basket left on the doorstep, and tiny elfin footprints leading back toward the enchanted forest down the street.

Though, admittedly, that would have been awesome.

Here, let me take you through some of the highlights in my puzzle resume, and we’ll see if my experiences offer some guidance or inspiration for those with puzzletastic aspirations.

Unrecognized Wheel of Fortune Grand Champion, USA, 1988-present

Since I was about seven years old, family members have called me into the family room to see who can puzzle out the quotes, phrases, and punny answers behind the lovely Vanna White, and I regularly school both contestants and kin with ease.

While Mr. Sajak refused to recognize my decades-long reign as Wheel of Fortune Grand Champion (Stay-at-Home Division), and Mr. Seacrest has yet to return my calls, that doesn’t make it any less noteworthy.

Internship with the Riddler, Gotham City, 2000-2001

There are few puzzle personalities in the world with the flair, cachet, and renown of Edward Nygma, otherwise known as freelance detective and occasional criminal mastermind The Riddler. So when I had the opportunity to sit in with him and learn from his decades of riddle-centric shenaniganry, I leapt at the chance.

I studied the intricacies of mechanical puzzles, wordplay, and punsmithery while under Nygma’s wing. Although I frequently found myself in legal and moral gray areas — and on the receiving end of more than a few POW!s and BIFF!s — the experience was well worth it.

Tetris Foreign Exchange Program, St. Petersberg, 2002

There’s no better spatial awareness training than Tetris. I can feng shui the packages in the back of a UPS truck like nobody’s business, and don’t get me started on my legendary vacation-packing skills. And with the added pressure of that horrendous tension-inducing “you’re near the top!” music, I’m cool as Siberia under pressure.

Dungeon Tester, various, 2003-present

Is your Tomb of Horrors not horrorful enough? Is your Tomb of Elemental Evil lacking in some evil elements? Is your Ghost Tower of Inverness feeling a little inver-less?

I’ve ventured through some of the deadliest, trickiest, player-decimating-est dungeons in all of roleplaying, and my quality control and suggestions have made them even deadlier-ier!

That trick with the secret escape door in the third pitfall trap? Yeah, that was me.

You’re welcome, dungeon masters!

Escape Room Entrepreneur, Scranton, PA, 2006

Yes, the first official escape room opened in Japan in 2007, but I actually pioneered the genre when I accidentally tripped into a display at the Houdini Museum in Scranton just before closing time. Somehow the staff missed the clanking of chains and my totally-manly-and-not-at-all-shrill cries for help, and I found myself plunged into darkness, trapped haphazardly in several of Houdini’s most famous devices.

Thankfully my previous training with the Riddler had prepared me for this sort of dilemma. After several hours of maneuvering (and some unpleasant chafing marks from all the chains and manacles), I managed to extricate myself from all the Houdiniana around me and slip out the front door… and into the waiting arms of the police responding to all the motion sensor alarms I’d tripped with my heroic flailings.

Puzzle Summit with Will Shortz, New York City, 2007

Okay, it wasn’t so much a historic meeting of the minds as it was me yelling puzzle ideas at him with a megaphone as I chased him down the street.

But that totally counts.

Freelance Puzzle Historian, Self-Appointed, USA, 2009-present

Oh yes, puzzle history is a rich and varied field of study, one to which I have devoted a great deal of time and effort, unearthing some fascinating and surprising discoveries. For instance, did you know that Nero did not, in fact, fiddle while Rome burned? He was far too busy being frustrated by the extreme Sudoku puzzle he’d picked up in the agora.


Well, there you have it. A brief glimpse in my particular puzzle experiences and how they’ve shaped me. Here’s hoping you can blaze your own puzzlerific trail, be it through decoding Linear B with Cryptogram-ingrained proficiency or anagramming your friends’ names to your heart’s content.

Happy puzzling, everyone!